


Form and Function

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Prompt Fills 2018 [44]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 21:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15446310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: In which Rodney sometimes changes forms when he's stressed out. Written for the shapeshifter comment_fic prompt: "Stargate Atlantis, Rodney McKay, he doesn't realize he's shapeshifting on those late nights when he falls asleep in the lab."





	Form and Function

The first time Rodney woke naked in Major Lorne’s bed, he nearly had a heart attack. He came awake suddenly, startled, but there was no alarm or radio call. He was confused, because he was sleeping on his stomach, and he never slept on his stomach. He realized two things at the same time: he was naked, and he was in an unfamiliar bed in unfamiliar quarters. 

Rodney eased himself up onto his haunches as gently and silently as possible and stared down at himself, horrified. Then he looked at the person in bed with him and had to clap a hand over his mouth to stifle a scream. 

It was Major Lorne. He slept curled on his side, one hand tucked under his head. In sleep he looked younger, more innocent. Also in sleep he wore a black tank top and dog tags. 

Rodney frantically tried to remember what had happened the night before. After supper with his team he’d gone back to the lab to take another gander at the Ancient medical device Lorne’s team has uncovered on a city exploration mission. He’d fired up his laptop, connected it to one of the scanners, and set about running tests. He was pretty sure he’d paused for a coffee break sometime around 2430 AST, then kept on working clear through till about 0100. Major Lorne didn’t feature in his memory at all. Neither did sexytimes in another man’s bed. Most of last night had been a marathon of frustration, because Rodney hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of the stupid Ancient device. 

Rodney wasn’t opposed to sexytimes with another man, not even Major Lorne, because the man was good-looking and by all accounts a skilled and generous lover, but he was opposed to sexytimes he couldn’t remember. Had he gotten drunk? Had someone roofied his coffee? 

He cast about for his clothes, but there was no sign of them. There was no sign of Major Lorne’s clothes either. 

There was, however, a uniform folded on the nightstand. Of course. In case of nighttime muster. Lorne always showed up for emergency muster perfectly turned out. 

Rodney, wincing and apologetic, eased out of Lorne’s bed and stole his uniform, tugged it on. Going commando in another man’s clothes was less intimate than borrowing another man’s underwear, even if Rodney had apparently gotten plenty intimate with Lorne last night. 

Barefoot and wearing Lorne’s uniform pants and t-shirt, Rodney ducked out of Lorne’s quarters and skedaddled for the nearest transporter. He headed for his own quarters, showered and shaved and dressed for the day. It was about time for him to wake up anyway. Lorne was on second shift, so of course he was still asleep. 

How, exactly, could Rodney return his clothes without being weird?

Laundry mix-up. That was his story and he was sticking to it. 

Rodney headed to the mess hall, grabbed breakfast to go, and bolted for the lab well ahead of the rest of first shift. 

He found his own clothes piled on his workbench beside his laptop. All the color drained out of his face. No. Impossible. Had he and Major Lorne hooked up  _ in the lab? _

Only Miko said, “Really, you ought to tell someone about your condition. We can only cover for you for so long.”

For one moment, Rodney was paralyzed with humiliation. His  _ condition.  _ Was she accusing him of being some kind of sex fiend?

Rodney scooped up the clothes, feigning indignation. He almost uttered  _ Well, I never, _ but then he saw, beneath the pile of clothes, a handful of silver foil balls. 

Miko had been referring to the way he transformed into the Pegasus equivalent of a ferret when he got stressed out. He eyed her, grudgingly grateful. She smiled at him. 

“You’re lucky you’re so cute when you transform,” she said. 

She thought he’d had an accidental transformation in the lab. That was as good an explanation as any. No one would ask questions, no one would talk to Lorne about it. 

“Thank you,” Rodney said. “For the toys.”

He put the little foil balls in the empty candy dish he kept beside his laptop. 

Time to work. 

*

At first, Rodney was nervous every time the lab doors hissed open. Any moment, Major Lorne could come in and confront him about running off after their passionate tryst in the labs. 

Well, not any moment. Probably only in the few hours before second shift started, when the personnel on second shift went for their breakfast or did other morning chores. 

So Rodney had a few hours where he’d be able to work worry-free. 

He became so absorbed in his work that he stopped paying attention to who was coming and going in the lab, so when Major Lorne said, 

“Hot fresh coffee. Come and get it!”

Rodney didn’t even blink, just reached out and scooped a mug off of the improvised tray that was actually a clipboard with some forms on it. 

And then he actually  _ looked  _ at Major Lorne and yelped and nearly dropped his coffee. 

“A little jumpy today, aren’t you, Doc? Maybe you should ease off the caffeine.” Major Lorne looked amused. 

Miko and Radek and Gretchen swarmed him, accepting mugs of coffee and thanking him, patting him on the shoulders and arms. Rodney stared at him, searching for any sign of their secret passion, a kiss-bruise on his throat or -

No. Staring would make things obvious. Everyone would know. Rodney wrenched his gaze away.

“What are you doing here?”

“He’s being nice and bringing us coffee,” Gretchen said tartly.

“I need him to turn something on for me,” Radek said.

Rodney couldn’t help but wonder what Major Lorne looked like when he was turned on, what he’d done to turn Rodney on, distract him from his science. He continued to avoid Major Lorne’s gaze, focused on his laptop.

“Thanks for the coffee.”

“Sure thing, Doc. Now, what is it you want me to initiate? An Ancient hair-dryer?”

Gretchen made an interested sound. “Is that what this is?”

Rodney wished he’d thought to bring some headphones so he could turn on his music and shut out the world. Dr. Naoe always had a massive pair of headphones on, was always deaf to the world.

But once Major Lorne was finished helping Radek, he left, taking any empty mugs with him, and he didn’t try to speak to Rodney at all, didn’t single him out for any special attention.

In fact, over the next three days, Major Lorne’s behavior was  _ completely normal. _ He was friendly to Rodney but not too friendly. He was polite without being awkward and stiff. He was charming and witty without being flirty. He was acting like they hadn’t had sex at all.

Rodney was kind of insulted. Did Major Lorne not want to have sex again? Did he think Rodney was bad in bed? Of course, Rodney had sneaked out before Major Lorne woke up, so maybe Major Lorne thought Rodney thought  _ he _ was bad in bed. Maybe Rodney couldn’t remember what had happened between them because he’d blocked it out because it had been so terrible.

Except everything Rodney had ever heard on the downlow about Major Lorne was that he was fantastic in bed. Strong. Flexible. Excellent stamina. Creative. Generous. Always made sure his partner came first, if not more than once. 

Maybe that was what was going on. Major Lorne was keeping what happened between them on the downlow. Because despite the rumors that ran rampant on Atlantis about how Major Lorne was a real dynamo in the sack, no one actually admitted to having had sex with him. Was it all rumors? Or was he that good at being discreet? After all, Rodney had never looked at Lorne and thought that he could deep-throat like no one’s business. Maybe Major Lorne was waiting for Rodney to make the first move. Obviously Major Lorne couldn’t make the first move, what with DADT looming over him.

Did Rodney want to make the first move again? (Would that be the second move?)

Would it be an experience worth remembering?

If Rodney spent a lot of late nights in the lab drinking too much coffee, working on that Ancient device and mulling over the question of Lorne, no one knew but him.

*

Rodney woke suddenly. He wasn’t in his own bed, because the mattress was all wrong. He was naked again. Dread curled low in his gut, but he opened his eyes, squinted through the darkness. He was in Major Lorne’s bed again.

Major Lorne was sprawled on his back this time. He’d kicked the covers off, and his quarters were a little uncomfortably warm.

He was sleeping in white boxer briefs and an olive tank top. His dog tags were pooled at the hollow of his throat, and he was breathing deeply.

Dammit. Rodney had done it again.

He snatched up Major Lorne’s emergency uniform - Major Lorne hadn’t even blinked when Rodney returned the clothes to him, citing a laundry mix-up, they were the same height after all - and pulled it on. Then he made a beeline for the labs, where he found his own discarded clothes in a pile beside his workbench. Had he just stripped off and let Major Lorne bend him over the bench? What the hell? Should he check the security footage in the lab?

No. He didn’t think he could stand the humiliation. Sure, he’d figured out early in college that a good orgasm was great stress relief, that getting laid on the regular helped his mood and productivity, and having a fuck-buddy was nothing to be ashamed of, even if he did enjoy emotional connections, as complicated as they were. And yes, he was the kind of man who sometimes passed out after a particularly spectacular orgasm, and he hadn’t had a regular lay since he’d signed on with the Atlantis expedition, but he’d never been the kind of desperate person who couldn’t even make it back to someone’s quarters for some privacy. And he wasn’t really into exhibitionism either.

Rodney did his best to avoid Major Lorne that day, so naturally Major Lorne was everywhere Rodney was, delivering coffee in the labs, handing requisition forms to John  in the military command office, delivering some art supplies to Ronon in the common room, handing off a report to Elizabeth in Control. Of course Major Lorne was as polite and friendly and ordinary as ever, not even giving the slightest hint that he and Rodney had gotten it on the night before.

Rodney woke up in Major Lorne’s bed again.

And the next night after that.

And the night after that.

On the fourth night he was seriously freaked out. And he almost woke Major Lorne when he tripped over the random basket that the man had set on the floor beside his bed.

This kind of memory loss wasn’t normal. Rodney didn’t dare tell Carson about it, though. Was sleep-sex even a thing? Could Rodney be sleepwalking and having sex with Major Lorne? When Major Lorne was sleepwalking he’d been able to dress and use a firearm and make complex logical arguments about whether an ARG would hurt someone who wasn’t a Replicator.

Rodney was exhausted and cranky and snapped at everyone around him. Dare he look at the camera footage? The one time he and a fuck-buddy had tried to make a sex tape it hadn’t gone well at all. But he had to know. Waking up in Major Lorne’s quarters naked was not okay. Rodney had tried cleaning the pipes in the shower every morning for the last few days so he’d be less on edge, but it didn’t help.

He’d checked himself in the shower, didn’t appear injured or otherwise marked. (He didn’t want to follow that train of thought to its logical end, but -)

And then Major Lorne tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, Doc.”

“What?” Rodney snapped.

Major Lorne raised his hands in surrender. “Whoa. Sorry. I just had a question for you, but if this is a bad time -”

“What is it?”

“Miko and Radek said you know a thing or two about ferrets.”

Rodney blinked at him, confused. “What?”

“You know, sleek furry rodents that like shiny things - like these.” Major Lorne pointed to the little foil balls on Rodney’s workbench.

“What about them?”

“Well, I’ve kind of adopted one,” Major Lorne said.

“So?”

“So I know they’re nocturnal, and I usually see this little guy when I’m on my night patrols. He rides around with me, even follows me back to my quarters and sleeps on my pillow, but he’s always gone in the morning. I made a little bed for him out of an Athosian basket Teyla gave me, but I’m not a hundred percent sure what they eat, and I don’t know where he’d sleep during the day, and I’m worried about him, because he’s seemed kinda tense and anxious lately.”

Just like that, all the pieces fell into place.

Rodney, waking naked in Major Lorne’s bed. His clothes discarded in the lab. The basket on the floor of Major Lorne’s quarters.

Rodney had been transforming because he was stressed out and working late in the lab.

Rodney must have stared at Major Lorne too long while the realization dawned, because he ducked his head, looking sheepish.

“Sorry, Doc. I know, being all worried about a ferret is weird, but -”

“Your concern is commendable,” Rodney said, straightening up. “Sounds like this stressed-out ferret needs prime care. So, you should line the basket with the softest, fluffiest towel you can find. As for snacks - raw fruits and vegetables, chopped fine. Muscle or organ meat. Eggs and other egg-products. Semi-moist liver snacks.”

Behind Major Lorne, Miko, Radek, and Gretchen were staring at Rodney and shaking their heads.

Rodney ignored them and plowed ahead, describing a life of ferret luxury for Major Lorne to maintain in his quarters.

“Thanks, Doc. I appreciate it,” Major Lorne said, and he departed, radioing the kitchens for some chopped fruit as he went.

“Really, Rodney?” Radek asked.

“Help me figure out this device and I’ll be less stressed-out and I’ll stay human,” Rodney said.

*

Rodney woke naked in Major Lorne’s bed and groaned. Dammit. Apparently being forced to Ascend or die had been more stressful than he’d realized.

“So, Doc,” Major Lorne said. He was sitting up, his hair sleep-mussed. “Something you want to tell me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Sprung from this little comment fic:
> 
> (Any, Any, they change forms when they're emotionally distressed.  
> http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/762744.html?thread=100286584#t100286584)
> 
>  
> 
> "Rodney, please," Miko said. She offered up a square of brownie and a mug of coffee. "Calm down!"
> 
> But Rodney was worked up into a pretty good lather, red in the face, shouting at Radek.
> 
> The other scientists backed away, wary. Some of them reached for their radios. Should they get Sheppard on the line?
> 
> " - And I cannot take this _anymore!"_ Rodney shouted.
> 
> Radek got up in his face. "Neither can I!"
> 
> There was a puff of smoke, and Rodney's clothes collapsed to the floor.
> 
> A moment later, a sleek white ferret crawled out of Rodney's clothes.
> 
> Miko sighed and set the brownies and coffee aside. "Dammit, Radek. You made it happen again."
> 
> Radek pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm right and you know it. Besides, isn't he supposed to be taking meditation lessons with Teyla?"
> 
> Dr. Biro shouted, "Close the door! Don't let him escape!"
> 
> But the wily ferret darted straight for the door.
> 
> Major Lorne leaned down, scooped him up. "Have pets been authorized on Atlantis?" He cradled the ferret gently, stroking its sleek fur. "Hey, pretty guy. You lost? You hungry?" He stepped into the lab, setting the ferret on his shoulder with the air of someone much accustomed to animals.
> 
> Everyone tensed, expecting the ferret to attack or menace Lorne, but instead it nuzzled his ear and settled in for the ride.
> 
> "Colonel Sheppard said Dr. McKay needed a human light switch." Lorne came to stand beside Rodney's workbench. "Where is he?"
> 
> Radek kicked Rodney's clothes aside.
> 
> "He had to step out," Miko said. "But Radek could use your assistance. Radek?" She cast him a pointed look.
> 
> "This way, Major," Radek said, guiding him to the storage closet of unidentified Ancient devices.
> 
> They spent the next hour attempting to initiate various devices. All the while, the ferret stayed with Major Lorne, either resting on his shoulders or running up and down his arms. Lorne was affectionate with the ferret, petting it and cooing at it, letting it nuzzle him. He even got one of the KP Marines to bring him some foil to roll into balls for the ferret to play with.
> 
> Miko ended up sending a message to Lieutenant Cadman, had her put in a call to Lorne so he would go away before the ferret turned back into Rodney.
> 
> Cadman came through right away, and Lorne set the ferret down on the desk, nuzzled it goodbye, and headed off to meet Cadman for her fictitious request for assistance.
> 
> A few minutes later, the ferret turned into a much calmer Rodney. He pulled his clothes back on and got to work.
> 
> Lorne was none the wiser for his repeated encounters with Rodney the distressed ferret.
> 
> Until one time when Rodney sniffed his hair.


End file.
